The following conversation was overheard during a recent job interview:

Employer: "I notice you put three different names on your application: Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, and Santa Clause. What shall I call you?"

Kris: "Kris is fine."

Employer: "So, Kris, tell me a little about yourself."

Kris: "I'm a jolly old elf who lives at the North Pole. I love children and reindeer. I'm good at making lists. And I don't mind travel."

Employer: "Hmmm... You've got a spotty employment history. You've worked at Macys and many other stores, but only for a few winter weeks. Why is that?"

Kris: "I can only get work in November and December. I tried applying in person during other times of the year, but they just gave me an odd look and shook their head. I think it might've been age discrimination."

Employer: "How are your team-building skills?"

Kris: "OK. I once had trouble with a new member of my team. The other team members used to laugh and call him names. But I had him lead the team one foggy night, and afterwards the rest of the team loved him; they even shouted out with glee. It was pretty weird at the time, but everything's cool now."

Employer: "What are your greatest strengths?"

Kris: "My listening skills are excellent. I have a strong lap. I'm good with kids. And I'm not afraid of heights."

Employer: "What are your biggest weaknesses?"

Kris: "Milk and cookies. They're the reason I have this belly that shakes like a bowlful of jelly!"

Employer: "Why should I hire you?"

Kris: "I see you when you're sleeping. I know when youre awake. I know when you've been bad or good. So be good, for goodness sake, and hire me! Otherwise, I'll have to put you on my 'Naughty' list. Believe me, you don't want that."

Employer: "Are you threatening me?"

Kris: "No. I'm not very good at threats. With the cost of gas and electric heat these days, people actually look forward to receiving a lump of coal. I'm just saying it's better to be on my 'Good' list, because I send a copy of my 'Naughty' list to the IRS."

Employer: "When can you start?"

Kris: "Ho, Ho, Ho!"

Bonnie Lowe

Bonnie Lowe has been writing professionally for more than 10 years. In addition to her two popular ebooks, “The Job Interview Success System” and “Networkaholics Revealed! True Confessions of People Who Networked Their Way to Success (And How You Can Do The Same),” she has written a wide variety of winning communications – sales letters, media releases, brochures, web content, articles, fact sheets, reports, newsletters and more – that enlighten and entertain readers while helping business owners to achieve their goals.