Douche bags. They seem to be everywhere nowadays. You know what I'm talking about. That guy at the bar who thinks he can pick up any chick he wants. That guy who leaves the keychain with the prominent BMW logo on top of the bar for all to see so he can impress chicks. That guy who has too much product in his hair. He may even have a goatee or other sort of obnoxious facial hair like really pronounced but neatly groomed sideburns. Yeah, that guy is a total douche bag. Look at him! He's wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar! Oh no, there's another one wearing a trendy t-shirt that's way too tight for him, attempting to look like a bad-ass. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about.
There's a good chance that many guys reading this article are in fact douche bags. It is primarily for them that I write this article. You see, I deeply care about you, douche bag, and am here to guide you down a path of enlightment that will finally awaken you to the fact that you are indeed a douche bag and that you must take steps to fix your affliction. Yes, douche baggery is an affliction, an illness much like alcoholism, necrophelia, etc. But it doesn't have to be this way, douche bag! You can start acting like a respectable human being! The first step, and the most important one at that, is to recognize that you have a problem. Only then can you take appropriate action to end your douche-baggedness.
Listen to me, all you douche bags out there. Stop what you are doing this very second, and go read about the common traits typically associated with douche bags at http://douchebagtraits1.blogspot.com. If you notice that you are guilty of any of the offending characteristics of a douche bag, immediately change it. I wish all you douche bags out there the best of luck on your road to recovery from your douchey-osity. |
