I dedicate this article to Runyon Ave's fallen soldier, with all my love. D12 for life.

My mind is confused and my heart is in pain as I am writing this article. I feel like being amputated. Yes, you heard it well: amputated from an important member of my D12 extended musical family. Yesterday, somebody decided to take Deshaun Holton's life at a Runyon Ave nightclub at 4: 30 am, Detroit time.

A few hours later, a Detroit homie contacted me, asking me if I was aware of the latest news.

I was like 'What are you talking about? '

I first believed that the news of Proof's death was a joke. But when I saw, the RIP messages on Detroit rap and the Detroit Free Press, I knew this was the sad reality. Proof had been savagely assassinated. Somebody shot him in the head and when he arrived at the hospital, it was too late.

I am haunted with visions of Eminem's Like Toy Soldiers video and I keep asking myself if Em had foreseen his best friend's death that now looks like a dark prophecy.

I think that he feared such things to happen if we consider the harsh war of words that had been exchanged with Benzino and co.

One thing seems to be quite clear: somebody targets the Shady clan. On December the 31st, 2005, Obie Trice was shot in the head while driving on a freeway. Fortunately, the talented rapper survived to the shooting.

For the moment, we have no idea about who is behind those shootings. I sincerely hope that Benzino and their crew of cowards have nothing to do with it. Anyway, I do think that the murderer deserves an exemplary punishment. This murderer cut a talented man's life short at only 30. This man, Big Proof, inspired a lot of people and was loved in the hip hop community.

He leaves a family and five kids behind him.

In Detroit, some people knew him under the nickname Maximum, at a time he got started as an emcee. He was one of Detroit hip hops richest contribution and with his amazing qualities as a freestyler, he earned the title "Living Proof".

Since I discovered Deshaun Holton as an artist, I have always been very supportive of his work, because I always considered his immense talent.

Not only has Proof done some incredible good work with D12, his great talent is also enlightened in his solo work. Proof has always been real in his words, making me laugh to tears with tracks like Do What I Wanna Do from his Promatic album (in collaboration with Detroit emcee Dogmatic) or moving me deeply with songs such as Forgive Me in collaboration with 50 Cent.

Proof did never shy away from his enemies. He dedicated a track to his enemy Detroit acid rapper Esham called E.S.H.A.M (Every Sucker Has His Moment). Last October, during his birthday party, he reconciled with Esham, making a great move in favor of peace.

His Grown Man Shit mixtape attacks traitors to Detroit hip hop (that wont be named in my article on purpose ) and is a pretty good example of the great emcees' realness and his love for his hometown.

Deshaun missed the former days of Maurice Malone's Hip Hop Shop in Detroit, as he expressed it with nostalgia in his non commercial I Miss The Hip Hop Shop mixtape.

Deshauns music has been part of my every day life and now I feel like crying every time I hear one note from his tracks. I feel his death like a profound injustice and a great loss to our hip hop community.

I had a dream yesterday night, dear readers. Deshaun appeared in my dream. He was dressed in blue. He looked at me, opened his hands and gave me a golden faceless medal. I have no idea about the meaning of my dream, but be sure that Deshaun is in a better place now and that he is still watching over us.

Deshaun, you will live on in our hearts for ever. You will be missed and remembered for ever.

RIP Big Proof. Living Proof For Ever.

Copyright2006 by Isabelle Esling

All Rights Reserved